So here it is the sun is out, a prelude to summer. Every year we see this and think here we go another few months of endlessly sunny days and balmy nights BUT it’s Britain and always in the back of our minds we know that if we’re lucky we’ll get three days strung together of sun and then it’ll rain, it has to if it doesn’t rain for five days in a row then we will have a hosepipe ban… I love this country 🙂
So with a glimpse of summer we turn to the thought of less clothing, those cardigans and jumpers can be returned to the wardrobe, trousers turn to shorts and long sleeves are banished. We go to the mirror and look at our pasty white bodies and try and find last years bottle of half used tanning lotion to improve our looks only to find we have put on so much weight over the winter we can no longer reach below our upper shin. Now we turn to Youtube for some horribly difficult exercise regime but it will do us good and in three weeks time as the video promises you will be beach ready. Yep it’s true you’ll still resemble a white whale basking on the beach. Who really does these exercises more than once? We go in all guns blazing but the next morning we hobble out of bed resembling more a penguin than a human and for three days the muscle pain cripples us. The smug amongst us ( we all have that one smug friend – you know who you are) will tell us No, No you must warm up and cool down. Okay well we’ll try that next time. After the said three weeks we may have done those exercises as much as twice, re applied out fake tan slightly more times but it’s gone really patchy because we couldn’t be bothered to moisturise properly ( as our smug friend pointed out!). We’ve put on even more weight because we now believe that now we’re exercising we need to eat more or we deny ourselves so much that the slightest whiff of a cream cake is virtually inhaled in family sized packs. You’ll recognise us… we’re the ones that can’t wear shorts because the fake tan won’t wash off and won’t wave to you because our bingo wings will quite possibly knock us out.
Never mind we can always work towards next summer…… pass me those doughnuts 😉
Welcome to a British summer…