As I stared into the mad eyes of Doctor Lecter, my thoughts were only of my dear wife – that I would never again be able to rest my gaze on her beautiful, if misaligned features. I was filled with bitter resentment. If only I had treated her a little better, praised her exertions, looked upon her kindly, appreciated her meagre efforts in the kitchen, then perhaps –
A dull thwack came to my ears and I blinked. Lecter had disappeared. I turned my head and saw his crumpled form on the ground, a large dent in his forehead.
“That’s better, said Mary, leaning over me.
“Oh. My. God,” I gasped.” My sweet and lovely darling – how on earth…?”
“Don’t thank me, Johnny,” she said, putting down the broom shank. “Thank your own snorting slumbers.”
“Sorry, what?” I said, as she undid my…
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