Elegant Insults…

There’s nothing more satisfying than an elegant insult.

Clever, and if delivered correctly, you can walk away before they realise what you did.

Then there’s the quick comeback, very satisfying indeed.

Lady Astor: ‘Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’

Churchill: ‘Nancy, if you were my wife, I should drink it’

Churchill was indeed a master at the witty comeback.

On one occasion, Churchill dealt with George Bernard Shaw in his usual way. Shaw wrote to Churchill:

‘I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend… if you have one’. To which he received the reply: ‘Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.’

Then there was this from John Wilkes.

The 4th Earl of Sandwich: ‘Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox’

John Wilkes: ‘That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your lordship’s principles or your mistress’

There is always Shakespear to fall back on…

I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.

Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!

Let’s hope the art of the elegant insults never end.